The dungeons and dragons of Jeff Goldblum are as good as the undetectable

by -
Jeff Goldblum recreates his sexy Jurassic Park pose at his Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony on June 14, 2018.
Image: David Livingston (Getty Images) – Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Thus, Jeff Goldblum – the Jurassic Park star Jeff Goldblum, Independence Day and more – is going to take Elve Zauberer Balmer as a podcast for Dungeons & Dragons. That’s a true statement of something in our reality, and I can’t really wrap my head around it.

Look at him. Look at him. Look at him. AT HIM LOOK.

Image: Fool & Scholar Productions

Dark Dice, a real-world D&D podcast started in 2018 is to join Goldblum. According to the official website, it is a group of Adventurers (natch) who “board the ruinous domain of the unnamed God.” On 12 May, when the series starts its second story, Balmer made his debut. It sounds quite rhythmic if you don’t know the podcast — Deadline says “it features immersive soundscapes, a diverse international cast with an original orchestra, over 30 medieval instruments and a live choir in Infernal, Icelandic and Elvish.” Nevertheless, Jeff Goldblum’s addition is the assassination.

All about this, I want to know. Why does this happen? Why dark dice? Why dark dice? Ever before, did Goldblum play an RPG? What level will Balmer be? What level? What can he cast spells? Can I even imagine a world, in which someone will ask Jeff Goldblum to save? I can’t, and we’re still here. We are here. We are here.